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Humanity ≠ Civilization

The slaughter of self.

 

The murder of spirit.

Suicide.

A young  girl. Fascinated by humanity and searching for love through the appreciation of life.

Walking through the bright sun and occasionally coming across beasts and hardships – but pursuing in order to become what she is destined to me. Finding that she has the capability to fight against the evils of others and the motives of others to keep her down and have her stay below. She fought to rise above.

The Slaughter Of Self.

The murder of spirit.

Suicide.

 

She fought off many evils growing into a young woman.

Many  who tried to come at her throat. But encountered bigger ones and felt unstable.

Bigger more manipulative evils. Who used her kindness against her and stripped her of her human rights. Through this shock she found it difficult to be as confident as before. She was less fascinated by humanity and more scared. Sick of humanity.  Sick of people. Weary of people around her.

The slaughter of Self

The Murder of Spirit.

Suicide.

She became confused. She became depressed.

She hated everything about herself and needed to be close to happiness and compassion but there wasn’t much around her. The little bit of happiness and love left in her world was overshadowed by the evils and the destitute characters of others around her. She was unsure of the motives of others. She was unsure of the integrity of others and felt vulnerable and naked and alone.

The slaughter of Self

The Murder of Spirit

Suicide.

In her vulnerability and confusion she ran to the arms of those who had hurt her once before in hopes that in all these worldly evils there must be a lesser one.  Maybe the lesser one will grow into happiness.

She let the callous, ominous arms of the wicked and insipid take hold of her as she hid in the cold air of their shadows to bury her head on stone pillows and hide away from anything unknown.

The Slaughter of Self

The Murder of Spirit.

Suicide.

Misery surrounding her every day and never knowing where to turn and who to believe and couldn’t even trust whether she knew love anymore or if everyone was out to hurt her and kill her. So she killed herself. She let the many long sharp knives of everyone who wanted her dead to appear from their backs and let them kill her…she ran head first into the crowd of murdered and let them tear away at her soul and she didn’t know whether to look back or embrace death with welcoming arms.

Her heart  still beating.

Her skin scraped and peeled.

Fingers gone.

Her teeth pulled and broken.

She breathed though,

She could no longer touch and be sensual with others.

She could no longer smile as beautifully as she once did.

Why didn’t she die – when that was all she really wanted? Death.

She performed all the necessary actions. She let the beasts attack her and yet she lived.

Did they know she wanted death and decided to have her suffer with life?

She cursed in her mind as she sighed in disappointment.

 

In the far distance she saw a figure.

Maybe it will finish her off and it will be the grand finale. Maybe she can finally just die…

Vision leaving her from all the blood spilled she blacks out.

Self-Improvement is a Higher Duty than Self-Sacrifice.

 

She woke to the smell of life. The smell of flowers living and food cooking.

The smell of …humanity?

Humanity isn’t always civilization. She stayed still in hopes that..maybe she will be roasted and eaten by savage cannibals…still wishing for death and still without faith in humankind.

In curiosity though, she lifted her head up from a pillow and saw that she had been bandaged, her fingers sowed and her skin healing with dentures by her bedside…how appealing.

 

It seemed as though there was help for her.

 

To be continued…

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